Comparison photos: 7 months

Blahhh

That's how I've been feeling today
I feel boated and fat and ugly
I lost 0.6kg this week
Not good
My stomach feels like it has expanded so much
I feel disgusting and I just need to let it all out, instead of dwelling on it and stuffing my face with junk

I've been worrying too much about the trip
I don't want to look this way in Europe
I don't want to look like a beached whale
I want to feel confident and I want to be able to keep up with everyone on the tour

I have around 10 weeks until I reach Malta
If I stayed focused and worked hard, I COULD lose 10kgs
That would be amazing
I would be 82kg

I'm finding it so hard to stay on track
I was unhappy when I was too tight, and now I'm unhappy because I'm too loose
I know it's all in my head
but I'm just struggling so much

I have been doing everything wrong
and it's about time I own up:

- I've been eating junk. mainly biscuits and chocolate
- I've been eating too quickly
- I've been snacking
- I haven't been drinking enough water
- I haven't been exercising

There...all my imperfections

Now my goals for this week:
- I will count every single calorie that I consume
- I will drink at least 2 litres of water a day
- I will not eat junk foods
- I will do at least 3 biggest loser routines this week

I would be so happy to reach at least 85kgs by the time we leave
8kg to go

May need a tiny fill

So you remember how I got a tiny unfill last week
well it has been such a good feeling being able to eat
but now I think the doc took out too much
I think maybe a fill of 0.1cc will do the trick
she wanted to see me in two weeks to check up on me so i'll be going in on march 10

I must admit....
today I just about ate a whole packet of arnotts chocolate ripple biscuits
stupid stupid me
but i barely ate anything else
so i haven't exceeded my calories
It's TOM so that's my excuse!

Just to clarify

I'm not one to start petty fights on the internet
but something is really bugging me about a certain blog post and I feel the need to respond
I won't mention the post or the blogger
but I just need to clear up a few things

I think I've been pretty successful at my weight loss so far
but it definitely has NOT been easy

So here are a few things I thought I should clarify:

- okay so I am 22 years old and I do still live with my family BUT I cook my own food, I do chores and I don't have the luxury of spending all day working out
- Just because I don't have kids, doesn't mean I don't have responsibilities
- I was going to university full time and am working two jobs...hence I cannot spend every hour of the day focusing on my weight loss. Some days I can work 10 hour days because I'm stupid enough to work double shifts
- Okay so I'm 22, but I have never been a "healthy" weight. I was born obese and have always been morbidly obese. I don't know what it's like to be skinny.
- Like most of you ladies, I have definitely stuffed up my metabolism with yo-yo dieting. At age 10 I was seeing a dietitian and being forced to go to weight watchers and have tried just about every diet under the sun...AND I'M ONLY 22

last but not least,
I'm not sure when/why most of you gained weight. some may have been like me and have always been obese.but some "lucky" people may have had a great childhood being thin and healthy and may have only put on some weight in later life
I, however, have been having to deal with bullying and constant pressure to lose weight my whole childhood
It was hell for me
I was battling depression in my early teens
and have attempted suicide several times after it had gotten so bad at school that I just wanted to give up

So before you say that it's EASY for me to lose weight
Think about my circumstances first before you judge

Barimate iPhone App

does anyone have it?
saw the flyer at my doctors office today and am very curious
I'm obsessed with iPhone apps by the way, but this one looks really good
I may download it, although it's $9.99 so maybe not

Here's the link
what do you guys think?

Barimate

Need advice ASAP!

Woke up still feeling like crap
I've had migraines for days, have been feeling lethargic and just feel like I want to pass out everytime I stand up
Everyone has been telling me that it's most likely because I'm not eating enough
and I think they are right

This week I lost 1.1kg
but I've been so tired that I haven't exercised nearly as much as I usually do
so that 1.1kg loss comes down to a very low calorie diet

When I was losing only small amounts of weight, I was eating crap food with no nutrition but I was getting enough calories
After I saw my fill doctor, I've been talking to a dietitian and trying to eat nutritious, healthy foods
but I simply can't eat enough of these foods to reach my daily calories
get me?

So my dad suggested I go get a bit of an unfill
and I totally agree
What's the point of only being able to eat crap?
I'd rather be able to eat more nutritious foods and exercise more and have energy

What do you guys suggest?
I have an appointment in a few hours and I hope I'm making the right decision.

Feeling crappy

The first time in AGES where I've had to leave work early
I feel sluggish, have migraines, a fever and basically feel like I want to pass out
I work at a medical centre so obviously I was bound to catch something
But I don't think I'm sick because of a virus
I think I'm sick because I'm not eating enough calories
I just can't
I know I need a bit of an unfill but I'm waiting until April to get some taken out before I go overseas
It also doesn't help that I've been working every single day and haven't had a day off in weeks...oh the joys of juggling two jobs

*end rant*

Week One of Body Media Fit Armband

So here is my review of the bodymediafit armband after one week of wearing it:

Since I started wearing it last Monday, I've lost 1.2kg (2.6lbs)
That's the most I've lost in a while
I wore it everyday, even when I was sleeping and it has really opened my eyes to how many calories I burn on a daily basis
Although it hasn't lost the weight for me, it made me more aware of my activity patterns and eating patterns
I've found myself moving more, even when I'm watching TV I'm either walking on the spot or moving around just to burn more calories
It's also helped me keep track of how many calories I eat and when I eat the most calories

Overall, I'm so glad I got it
I get excited when I see how many calories I've burnt and it seems pretty accurate
If I can lost another kilogram next week then I can definitely say it's a must have gadget!

Learning to love my body

Last week I bought a new bathing suit
Summer is quickly ending here in Oz so all the Swim wear is being cleared from stores and if I don't start buying Summer clothes now I won't be able to find anything before Europe!
I hate wearing bathers
Seriously I fear them
But if I'm going to spend Summer in Europe I really need to suck it up and face my fears
I went into City Chic the other day and fell in love with the cutest tank
and it was half price!
I took some pictures and cannot believe how far I've come!


I am completely loving the way I look in this photo. I still have lots more to lose but it's going to come off soon!

Remember where I started?! 32kg (70lbs) heavier!


On a side note...
The band has been treating me very well lately!
Haven't had a problem with it for a few days
Since Monday I've already lost 1.1kg (2.42lbs) and I think it's all because I'm more focused than ever on getting this weight off
I highly recommend getting some kind of gadget like the BodyMediaFit armband
It has helped me heaps!

I currently weight 93.9kgs
I really want to get to 85kg by the time I leave for Europe (11 weeks away) and I'm about 90% positive I'll make my goal!

Wow I haven't felt like this in a while...

I'm feeling so full right now
But not uncomfortable or stuck
Just plain old full!
I seriously haven't felt like this in ages
I'm still making sure I eat slowly and chew lots
Something I haven't done very well lately
I made myself a pizza today...
Well it was a really thin slice of mountain bread with tomato paste, left over tuna and shredded cheese
Took me an hour to eat it but it's left me feeling full, and I probably won't be able to eat anything else all night
So good!
I've missed this feeling!

Today I realised that there is only 7 weeks until my University Graduation!
I haven't seen any of my university friends since October, and I can't wait to see everyone
If I lose 7kgs between now and my graduation then I would be hitting 40kg lost (88lbs) Cannot wait to surprise everyone!

My goal today

Is to eat very, very slowly
Chew, Chew, Chew
and enjoy what I'm eating

Lately I've been having some real problems with food
It's not so much that it gets stuck
But I think I'm eating too much, too quickly and I can feel it building up at the back of my throat
It's pretty gross
One cough and it just comes straight back up

I know my problem isn't what I eat, but how quickly I eat it

On the plus side...

I received my BodyMediaFit Arm band on Monday and I love it!
Ever since I've started wearing it I've been losing gradually everyday
I'm still a bit sceptical about the idea of maintaining a calorie deficit
It calculated that if I wanted to lose 1kg a week I would have to eat a certain amount and burn a certain amount of calories which would create a 1100 calorie deficit daily
It just seems to easy to me!
So far, I've been maintaining an average of 1300 calorie deficit so it SHOULD mean that I would lose at least 1kg by next monday

*Fingers crossed*
I'll keep you updated :)

Advice!

I still don't get this band stuff
Yesterday my doctor said I need to count my calories and improve my eating habits
So today I counted everything that touched my mouth
It's 5.30pm and so far I've consumed about 540 cals
How do you guys get enough calories in?
I've read that having not enough calories also slows down your weightloss
I just don't know what to do anymore!
I'm still going to exercise tonight so my deficit will be even greater

Please Please Explain!

No Fill =(

So after waiting an hour in the waiting room I didn't even get a fill
The doctor said I lost more than I should have since I last saw her
I was basically begging for one
But she said that I'm probably on the verge of being too tight anyways
She said all I have to work on now is my meals

GAHHH so frustrated!

Fill tomorrow!

Wow I haven't had one since november!
I'm really desperate for one
I need some motivation and restriction otherwise I definitely won't get to my Eurotrip goal
I really want to lose at least 10kg (22lbs) by the time I leave for Europe (May 1st)
Seems pretty decent but I really need to up my game

I lost 6.2kg (13.64lbs) since my last fill (24/11/10) - 9 weeks ago
that's (0.69kgs/1.5lbs) per week. That's decent right?

Hope my doc doesn't grill me tomorrow!