Tuesday, August 31, 2010


Seriously this bandster hell can go screw itself
I am constantly starving
And when I'm starving I start grazing on crap
I had 4 small blocks of dairy milk chocolate today (tastes so fricken good) but now I feel so guilty
I was doing so well and now bad habits are creeping up on me
I hate this
I just want to eat all the time

It's 4.07pm and I've already had the following:
- 30grams porridge
- 1 mashed banana
- some of mum's spaghetti bolognaise sauce
- 4 blocks of chocolate


How did everyone cope with this??
I need a fill desperately
I never feel full

Monday, August 30, 2010

15kg down!

Finally reached my 3rd goal of 15kg (33lbs)
I don't even remember the last time I'm lost this much
Although my clothes are definitely looser, I can't say that it's an obvious difference
But I already feel alot better about myself :)

I think I'm reaching the dreaded "Bandster Hell" =S
I'm constantly searching for food (I do restrain myself though. I want to lose this weight so I'm not sabotaging myself by eating crap)
I'm always hungry!
I'm going for my post-op appointment on the 6th September
But that's only 3 weeks post op so I'm not sure if he will give me a fill
Right now I'm just being strong and resisting the urge to eat all the time

Having said that, I'm very happy with my progress :)

Friday, August 27, 2010

Chest Pain =S

So today I decided to go back to uni
I figured I hadn't really had any pain since surgery, and it was 2 weeks ago so surely I could handle it
Well I couldn't!
Classes were from 9-5 with 2 half an hour breaks
I didn't have breakfast at home because I had to leave at 7 so I took a small yoghurt with me
I got there, had 2 teaspoons of the yoghurt and BAM chest pain!
There was no way I could've been stuck because I basically licked the spoon and waited a while between each spoonful
It subsided a bit but then it got really bad
I had chest pain and back pain and it was uncomfortable
My sister took me home and I went straight to the doctor
He suspects it was just some gas that got trapped under my diaphragm
It's not bad anymore but woah I was a bit worried with chest pain

Has anyone had this before?

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Week 2 loss

1.7kg (3.74lbs?)

Anyways wooooooooo

Total loss of 14.2kg (31.24lbs)
So close to my next goal of 15kg!

*does happy dance* =P

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

First "mushies" meal

So I am a bit confused really

Went to the shops today and bought some things for this next stage
Baby food was cheap and I tried some flavours before the band so I bought a few bottles. I figured I could take the label off the bottles and take it to uni with me

I also bought some avocado, low fat ricotta, light cottage cheese, spreadable tuna and tinned chicken.
I didn't have breakfast (woops) so I just had lunch. I mashed up some avocado and mixed it with some cottage cheese and the tin "chop chop" chicken. The chicken is shredded and I read that some people can't handle it. I had about 100 grams and although I haven't had any pain or discomfort I think that might be enough. I think I'm more head hungry because it looked so damn good!

I just need a heads up as to what I might expect when I get full. I'm being really careful not to stretch the pouch etc and I'm taking really really small bites and chewing really well

But what does it feel like to be full? stuck? PB?
I need like a glossary of terms that I can look out for!

Monday, August 23, 2010

I'm still here!

Hi everyone
I'm still here and have been coming on daily but I haven't had anything to write about!
Everything is going great...besides the fact that soup no longer fills me up and I just want to eat anything and everything
I called up the surgeon's office today, because my post-op appointment won't be until the 6th of September (24 days post op). I wanted to ask whether eating mushies now (10 days post op instead of 14 days) would hurt the band
They kept insisting that I should eat anything I can get through the straw up until I go in and see the surgeon. However, the dietitian said I only need to do liquids for 2 weeks.
I am seriously getting hungry now. And I would rather be full on a bit of canned tuna or mashed vegies, instead of having a huge of bloody soup!

Arrgghh I need help...
actually I need someone to tell me that eating mushies 10 days post op is safe and not bad for the band

I have not had any problems at all with liquids going down, and I can drink a whole cup of juice or milk in one sitting. Surely this means my stomach is ready for soft foods!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Sorry, but I have so many questions!

First of all, I apologise for posting so often
I promise that once I get back to Uni I'll slow down!

Okay, so I should mention that I have come down with a horrible flu and am pretty sick. I went to the doctors today because I was scared of an ear infection. He said my right ear is a bit red and prescribed me some antibiotics just in case it gets any worse. I really don't want to take antibiotics so I'm just taking it easy inside...hence why I am ALWAYS online!

So back to the point of this post
I'm really frustrated with liquids!
I feel like I'm so ready for mushies...but I promise I won't cheat!

It brought me to thinking about how much calories I should be eating in order to lose weight
Right now I know I'm not getting nearly as many calories as I should.
I have an app on iphone that says that if I wanted to lose a kilo a week I should consume 1500 calories

1. How many calories do you consume? Do you even track calorie intake?
2. When does the bloating go down? I feel fatter than I was before I had surgery!
3. Will the disgusting belches ever stop? I don't feel gas pain anymore but I keep burping!
4. How should you brace yourself when a sneeze comes on? I sneezed today and I was in agony!
5. When did it all start to feel comfortable again? I constantly feel like I have a stomach strain and it just annoys me!

Answers would be wonderful,
Please and Thankyou!

Baby I'm getting better...

First of all...
My love for the Aussie band Gyroscope has been reignited and listening to them reminds me of all the fun times I had at their shows
Random fact, but you should check them out if you like rock/alternative music
(Oh and I brought them up because the title of this post is the name of one of their recent singles =P)

I haven't been on LBT for ages! I went on today and noticed there were a few photos on there that I should share with you all

Excuse the grossness but this was in 2008 for my sister's 17th birthday. That dress she's wearing is the one I wore on my 18th birthday in 2007 and I would really love to fit into it again!

This was a year later on my sister's 18th birthday. A bit better...but I always seem to look okay in posed portrait pictures.

And this is my current passport photo that I took last year...another 9 more years with it =S It's not horrible, but I would like a better one soon.

Now onto some exciting news! My sister and I have finally decided what tour we are going to take in Europe next year!
We chose Topdeck because I've heard Contiki are all about booze and partying...and if I'm going to spend so much money I would actually like to SEE Europe!
So in July 2011 this is where we will be heading, on a 28 Day Topdeck EuroClub tour, staying in Hostels, Bungalows, Resorts and Castles! We opted for no hotels because i've heard it's less restricted and more fun to be with your group rather than stuck in small hotel rooms.
I am so excited! I've been to a quarter of these places before but I was a bit young and don't really remember much of it.

This is what is motivating me to lose this weight and look hot for a Summer European Vacay!

Sneezing, Coughing, Laughing, Burping

All of these things fricken hurt!

I just sneezed for the first time since surgery and it felt like my port incision was going to split open


Has anyone felt this?

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

How do you know you are full?

That is the question!!!!

I don't feel hungry
Well I don't think I do
I think I'm focusing too much on gas pain to notice any hunger pains
So when I drink I drink a cup (if that!) and then forget about it for a few hours until mum reminds me that I need to keep hydrated

I should really count calories and write down everything I drink
But i'm pretty sure I'm not taking in enough =S

12.9kg Lost!



Monday, August 16, 2010

Goals & Rewards

Morning everyone
Day 3 post-op! It's gone so fast
I'll be taking off my bandages today, let's hope I don't pass out at the sight of my incisions =S

So while I'm slowly sipping my multivitamin I might as well let you guys know of what I plan to do these next few months

Okay so before we begin, on Thursday night (night before surgery) I finally told my parents about my tattoo. Mind you, I got this tattoo done in May of 2009! Yes, I hid it for that long but if you knew my parents you would understand. My parents were very anti-tattoo, piercings, coloured hair etc. But do you think I cared?! A little hair dye or a few (7) ear piercings wasn't going to hurt...they're reversible right?
So I pushed it a bit lol at least I could get rid of them if I wanted. I was a rebel child...but not too rebellious. I didn't/don't smoke or do drugs and I barely had friends over or went to any wild parties. So I thought that they really wouldn't mind if I got a measly tattoo. They had always threatened that if I'd ever gotten a tattoo while under their roof then they would kick me out...but deep down I knew they were empty threats.

So in May I got a tattoo...on my right forearm. I'm kind of glad that I was big because I would never have dared walking out of the house in sleeveless tops or singlets so hiding it was pretty easy. I wore cardigans everywhere and wore long sleeve tops to bed just in case they snuck into my room to inspect me haha! I even wore a cardigan in Hawaii...in boiling heat and humidity! So back to the point...I told them on Thursday obviously because I knew they were eventually going to see it in hospital. I was shocked when Mum basically burst out laughing when I told her. I'm pretty sure that they knew all along but were just torturing me the whole time!

Oh and for anyone wondering what tattoo I have...I have written "Rescue is Possible". It's a slogan used by an amazing charity called To Write Love On Her Arms (TWLOHA), a non-profit organisation who bring awareness to teen suicide and depression by holding concerts and involving musicians. When I was 18, I was severely depressed. I remember spending Christmas Day at home alone in bed crying...for no good reason. I used to cut myself and found it hard to leave the house. That's when I found TWLOHA and where I found my love for music. It really did help me through that hard time, so I wanted to have a permanent reminder of where I came from and to know that no matter what, there is always hope.

This brings me to the actual point of this post...the picture. The statue is of Santa Marija (Saint Mary). My Grandpa passed away a few years back and ever since then I was determined to get this tattooed. I was really close to him. He was very Catholic and very Maltese. In Malta, every weekend in Summer, each village celebrates their nominated saints day. They would close down the streets and party all weekend! It's amazing. So when my grandpa lived in Malta, his village saint was Santa Marija, hence why I chose her. When I was growing up, the Maltese community in Melbourne held their own processions and even brought over a set of statues to celebrate like they do in Malta. I remember going over to my grandpa's place and he would be waiting to take my sister and I to the church feast. I really miss that...and it's not the same without him.

So once I get to goal, I'll be getting a tattoo of Santa Marija on my back in honour of my amazing grandpa. I'm so excited! I know that he would have been so proud...albeit he didn't understand the point of tattoos :P

Sunday, August 15, 2010


So i'm on a liquid phase for the first 2 weeks
The meal plan says that I can have anything that can pass through a straw
So here's what i've been having:
- water! of course :P
- mum's homemade vegetable soup...blended real well
- watermelon juice...we borrowed a juicer from my aunty...the juice is deliciou but i'm hoping it doesn't have too much bad sugars (even though i didn't add any)
- low fat milk

Today i was craving something 'normal' so i boiled an egg for about a minute and had the runny yolk. it was amazing!
I also made a smoothie with banana, chocolate optifast and milk...so yum!

I hope these liquids are okay
i havent had any side effects at all. everything is going down and staying down

the only thing is that i dont feel hungry! im just having something for the sake of getting in some calories

how did you guys cope the first few weeks post-surgery?

First nights sleep at home

Wasn't very fun
The nurse gave me a script for pain meds...but when I went to the chemist he said that I needed to go back to the hospital because they hadn't specified how many milligrams
I called the nurse this morning and she said that they only come in one type
Stupid pharmacist!
So today mum's going to get some for me and if they have a problem they'll call the nurse

This morning when I got up out of bed, my stomach (specifically my port site) felt really tight, like a strain. I hope it's all still in tact
I'm so scared of flipping it or having a slipped band :S
They didn't even get me to do a barium swallow or anything like that

Gahhhhh frustrated!
I barely had any liquids yesterday because I was too scared of stretching the pouch

Saturday, August 14, 2010

This darn burp won't come out

and it's hurting bad
I don't want to drink anything just in case it means i'm too full
but it really just feels like gas
Did anyone have this after surgery?
i feel so bloated and uncomfortable =(
it's like a pain in my chest?
is this normal??

I'm home and feeling fantastic!

Hi everyone
I am now officially banded :D
I feel great and so glad it's all over
Here's a recap of how it went...

Yesterday dad took me to the hospital at 8.15am
We waited in the day stay ward until about 11.30am when they called me into theatre
The surgeon, anaesthetist and nurses were amazing
I was terrified of the IV, but it didn't hurt one bit!
I got wheeled into theatre at about 12.30 because the surgeon had a bit of a problem with the patient before me
Got a bit nervous in the theatre but everyone was so great
The anaesthetist and his assistant told me I would feel a cool sensation through my body and a bit of liquid in my mouth....

And then I was awake in recovery!
The recovery nurses were wonderful. I woke up pretty much straight away and started chatting to them and smiling thanking them all that it was over
The surgeon said everything went as planned and it was an easy procedure so I guess optifast did it's work :P
Although I was a bit groggy, I was still able to have a conversation with the nurses, and my recovery nurse said I was her favourite patient all week because I hadn't tried to attack her or swear at her as I woke up

I vaguely remember seeing dad as they wheeled me into my room but I did sleep for a few hours once I was settled in

I had/have aboslutely NO SHOULDER PAIN! I kept asking the nurses why and they said that I was one of the lucky ones
The best way to explain how my stomach felt was like the day after you do sit ups or crunches and your stomach muscles ache

I only got up twice through the night to go pee and I was able to drink about half a litre of water throughout the night with no problems whatsoever
The most uncomfortable part was just changing positions in bed because my port site was still a bit tender

I have 4 incisions...3 under my boobs and one just a bit under them for my port
My only complaint is the gas I can feel in my chest
It hurts trying to burp it (or fart it :P) out!
The only time I had pain meds was just as I was being discharged. I didn't ask for them but they did help a bit

Breakfast this morning was a glass of apple juice and they gave me jelly but I only had about a tablespoon of it

So there you have it...I am now an official bandster!!
Thank you all so much for your support, I couldn't have done it without you!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Nervous Wreck!

Today I got a call from the nurse that will be helping out tomorrow
she was so sweet! I hope she takes really good care of me.
The first thing I asked was about the no undies thing...she said that I can wear my underwear and they generally don't need to take them off at all

So admission is 8.15am
I'm so scared!
I'll probably cry when I'm saying bye to dad
Mum and my sister aren't coming to the hospital...they hate them!
They'll be visiting in the afternoon and so will my best friend and her mum

I'm actually kind of excited to just have a good rest
I've worked a 40hr week...which I am not used to, so It's good to have some kind of excuse to sleep

I work at a medical clinic and today a patient came in who got banded on the 4th of this month. She had really really bad shoulder pain..still!!
I hope mine isn't that bad! She got banded by the same surgeon as me, and she had no complaints at all. She said everything went great and the only pain she had was the gas/shoulder pain

Fingers crossed everything goes well!
I'll see you all on the other side :P

Wednesday, August 11, 2010


So close now!!

I've started packing a small suitcase as I am staying overnight
I need help!

I bought a travel toiletries pack with shampoo, conditioner, body wash, deodorant and body lotion. Oh and I heard that a good lip balm is needed so I've got that too. Bought a new toothbrush and a small tube of toothpaste.

Now what?!
Alot of people say I need a nightie...but I prefer loose pants and a button up top. What did you guys take? not sure if I'll be able to bend over to put on pants

Oh and can someone please explain to me the no undies situation?!
I know it's easy access if something happens, but come on!! I'm more nervous about being naked then I am about having the surgery!

Tell me everything about the whole experience! haha

Saturday, August 7, 2010


So I decided to do some measurements today just out of curiosity
I didn't expect to lose many cm's but my clothes are now getting looser and looser by the second!
My jeans basically fall off me (doesn't help that I initially bought them a size too big!)

I am super excited for surgery on Friday
I've never been to hospital, and although I'm a little scared, I know this is a good thing for me

Friday, August 6, 2010

This time next week...

I should be banded!
and I'm bloody excited

I've waited a whole year for this and it has all finally caught up with me that it's here!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Pre-op Appointment & Scale not moving!

hello lovelies
not long now until I'm banded!

Hating optifast right now, I'm snacking way too much just on little things like tiny pieces of cheese or slices of ham
Scale hasn't moved either :(

Just got home from my pre-op appointment
What a bloody waste of time
The surgeon had no idea when my surgery was and the whole thing took about 5 minutes even though I was waiting over an hour!
He just asked about optifast and was really happy about my loss so far but that was it!

I guess it was also kind of my fault because I had no questions to ask him!
Everyone here and on LBT had already answered everything I needed to know!

Monday, August 2, 2010

Versatile Blogger Award :D

Hi Everyone!
Sorry I didn't get to this sooner

I was nominated by 3 different people for this award and i'm so grateful that anyone is even interested in what I have to say!

Thanks Sam, Nikki and Maria for my nomination!

Not sure how this works exactly so bear with me!

So here are Seven random things about me:

1. My parents are avid travelers and have instilled in me a passion for travel also!
I've been to the US, London and Malta several times, have been on a Mediterranean cruise, Dubai, Singapore, all over Australia and New Zealand

2. I'm first generation Australian. Both my parents were born and grew up in a tiny Mediterranean island called Malta

3. I go to rock shows. I've been to over a hundred in the past few years and take any chance I get to go see a live gig. I would prefer to see a band than go to a nightclub.

4. I'm completing my final year of a Psychology degree (Honours), but in my first year I was initially doing a double degree of Law/Psychology

5. Next year I'm planning to go live in Malta and travel around Europe. I have my Maltese/EU passport and my parents own a house over there so I am tempted to live there for the year and work. I'm going there alone to prove to myself that I don't need mummy and daddy anymore!

6. I have worked 2 jobs since I was 16 years old. I work at a supermarket (Coles) and as a medical receptionist. My parents are amazing and although I thought they were strict, they really taught me well when it comes to working hard and saving money.

7. I am an internet addict! I am constantly online and that has probably contributed to my weight gain. I can't go an hour without checking facebook or twitter :S

Okay so random facts = check!
Now onto nominations I guess :)
I don't think I could nominate 15 people because I've noticed that alot of you have already received awards lately

1. Ash @ http://lappy4life.blogspot.com/ - She has an amazing sense of style and seems to have the same passion for music as I do.

2. Liz @ http://lizandrk.blogspot.com/ - I have nearly read every one of her posts! She is such an inspiration and has come so far

3. Sarah @ http://sweetheart181.blogspot.com/ - She has had such an amazing transformation!

4. Kristen @ http://kris10-mylapbandjourney.blogspot.com/ - Such a beautiful woman!

5. Jen @ http://jenslapbandjourney.blogspot.com/ - Laughed so much at the vlog with her and her sister!!!

These are just to name a few!
Must get back to my homework now :(

Oh by the way, the cheating didn't effect my loss! Lost another 0.5kg :D
Not long now! 11 days eeeeep!