Saturday, December 3, 2011

Boot camp no. 2 & Fill

Ahhh my body hurts...but i'm sure it will hurt a lot more tomorrow!
I went for my second bootcamp this morning
Lots more running and weights OUCH!
On days that I don't train, I have been walking/running 5.5km a night and I'm pretty darn proud of myself :)
I have never worked out so much in my life and I'm actually enjoying it
It's a lot better when I'm surrounded by people who also enjoy working out

Also, yesterday I gave in and went for another fill
I am so close to the green zone
I've been getting 0.3cc at a time...slowly but surely I will finally find my sweet spot!
Hopefully this last fill will get me there because I'm really determined to lose the rest of this weight before I hit up the USofA in September =D

Monday, November 28, 2011

No loss but still working hard

This week I have really worked hard to lose some weight
I've worked out 4-5 times this week and it's still not showing on the scale
I'm hoping that it's all because it's that TOM
I have maintained the same weight all week and it's frustrating!
I'm not giving up though. I'm walking every day and doing weight training at home and I will be attending boot camp on saturday despite how painful it is!
I still feel that I need to get another band adjustment but I may wait it out until after christmas
I want to prove to myself that with self control and exercise I can lose this weight without having to constantly rely on my band
I'm going back to basics...chew chew chew, slow slow slow!

So as of today I am back to 92kg
In Europe the scale told me I was at 84kg...I don't feel like I have put on 10 effing kilos! My clothes still feel absolutely fine so I'm just hoping the scale was wrong!
I'm going to try and remember to post my weight every Monday

Saturday, November 26, 2011


so it's 8.45am on a saturday morning, everyone in my family is asleep and I just got home from a boot camp session in the rain!

My whole body aches!
I managed to somewhat keep up with all the skinny girls and I didn't quit...but I was so close to crying and chucking a tantrum!

Hopefully all this exercise pays off on the scale!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Amazing exercise NSV!

Okay so lately I've noticed an interesting trend...
I seem to be fitter than most of my skinner family and friends!

My sister is 20kg lighter than me and yet I am way way way more fit than her! she can't do a push up at all and I can manage a couple at a time if i really try

Today I went to my first ever personal training session and loved it!
I went with my best friend and her mum and we did circuit training
Our trainer had me running at 8kph and they were struggling to run at 6kph!
I definitely surprised myself because for once I wasn't out of breath or feeling like I was about to die!!
Then after the hour long session I went with a walk with my sister and I jogged part of the way and actually enjoyed it!

Hopefully I can keep this up! I have another PT session on Saturday and on other days I have promised my cousin that I would go walking with her

My weight still isn't going down though :(
I really don't know whats wrong
I know my restriction isn't all there and I am on my period at the moment so hopefully that's the reason for why I'm feeling really bloated these days
I've booked in for yet another fill tomorrow so fingers crossed that this will get my close to my sweet spot

Monday, November 21, 2011


Sunday, November 20, 2011

Proud! NSV :)

Just got back from a 1.5hour bush hike up and around a mountain!
At one stage I really really wanted to give up but I had no choice but to push through it
Such an awesome work out and there were amazing views from the top

I've been doing really well since the fill
I'm still a little hungry but I'm snacking on lots of fruit and veggies and have not had one single slice of bread!
Feeling really good about this week and if it doesn't show on the scale then i'm going to be really disappointed!

Friday, November 18, 2011

Stressful couple of weeks

I've been rather quiet lately and I apologise, but I have had the busiest and most stressful few weeks in my life

On the 11/11/11 my grandmother passed away
She was 92 and the strongest woman I know
The funeral was yesterday and for the past few days I have not even took notice of what I was eating and I have gained about 5kgs in the last month
I know it's not an excuse, but she was in hospital for the past four weeks and we had been staying at the hospital for days on end so vending machine junk was our only option!
It's a pity that hospitals don't offer healthy food options for visitors!

Some good news though...I have a new job!
I started working for the Mental Illness Fellowship on Monday and it's very different from my past jobs
I haven't done much yet but hopefully after christmas things will pick up

On the band front...I went for another fill yesterday
Since my unfill and slight refill I have not felt any restriction
I currently have about 2cc in my band now and I'm starting to feel some restriction and fullness
I'm trying to stick to liquids and softs and I've been feeling full on a small bowl of soup so that's a good sign!
Hopefully my weight starts dropping again soon!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Not doing well

I've gained and I know why
Too much shit, no water and no exercise

I'm going for a fill next wednesday so I'm going to try a shake diet this week and lose a bit of the weight I've gained by my doctor is still going to be disappointed in me as much as I'm disappointed in myself

I have, however, discovered the joys of Quinoa and it is amazing
So delicious and such a better alternative to rice
If anyone has any quinoa recipes please send them my way!!
Hopefully it's as good for our health as people are claiming because I've been eating it every single day!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Feeling better now :)

I think all my stomach needed was sleep and rest
Had liquids and a little bit of runny yoghurt yesterday was was still feeling some pain
But this sign of pain at all!
Just had a yummy mug of lemon&ginger tea and will remain on liquids and soft foods for the next few days just in case
At least it's been a nice boost to my weight loss!
I'm determined now to do this
I won't be going in for a fill for at least another 4 weeks I think
The doctor did tell me to go in next week for a fill but I think i'll wait it out a bit
I've found so many delicious, healthy recipes that I would love to try but I can't if I'm too tight

The future is looking good!

Monday, October 17, 2011

Update..yet another unfill

Okay so I have finally learnt my lesson...
Don't let the doctor give you a huge fill!
This weekend sucked...I was more thirsty than I was hungry
This morning I went to the doctors office and got lots of fluid taken out
First she took out 1.2cc
She told me to go for a walk, get a drink and if I still feel tight go back
So I did just that...and what do you know...Still tight!
I just constantly felt a pressure in my chest...however water actually went down fine
So she took out another 3cc!
So I barely have any fluid in my band
I still feel sore though. Around my diaphragm
She did say that my stomach could be swollen so it might take some time to heal
I asked her for a referral for a barium swallow but she said I didn't need it :S I think I will go ask my doctor and he might give me a referal just for some piece of mind.

Has anyone else experienced this? The pain is like cramps under my breasts

Saturday, October 15, 2011

My band is giving me hell :(

Really miserable right now
After my fill on Wednesday I was fine all day thursday
I start eating soft foods Friday and I fill horrible
Last night I could not sleep
I had this lump in my throat and was throwing up bile
I don't know what the hell is wrong
I called the surgeon and he told me to go to the emergency room but I'm too scared to go
This has happened before
I must be too tight
I guess I'll be waiting until Monday for yet another unfill
Why is it being so problematic?!
A little nervous now
Hope I don't need more surgery :(

Friday, October 14, 2011

Tummy Ache

Yesterday was a great day food wise.
Drank lots of liquids and ate soft foods
This morning I had a bowl of mushy weet-bix and after that I just felt sick all day
Had a little bit of mince meat bolognaise sauce and got stuck
Had a yoghurt and felt sick
I don't know what the hell I'm doing wrong
I hope nothing is wrong with the band :S
May go into the doctors and ask for a barium swallow
A little worried now :(
I don't want to live on liquids and soft foods for the rest of my life

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Good food day

Today I've felt a lot more in control of my eating
I've been sticking to the doctors orders (for once!) and have just had liquids and soft foods today
Started my day with some chamomile tea and a protein shake
Had a couple of cuppa-soups for lunch and dinner
Lots of water and a tin of chop-chop chicken
I think it's the detox my body needed because I have been in and out of the bathroom all day haha
I'm positive that this is going to be a good week
Also went to the shops today for some retail therapy and bought three new tops and I can honestly say I felt hot :P

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Fallen off the wagon

I just can't keep motivated anymore
Went for my second fill today
Surprisingly on the doctors scale I've maintained the same weight but on my scale I've gained :S
I ate out plenty this fortnight and did not pay attention to anything I ate
No restriction either

She says I now have 5cc in a 10cc band so hopefully this will give me the restriction i need
i know i shouldn't rely on my band all the time but i just cant help it!

fingers crossed this week is better

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Starting Fresh.

I am back and ready to start melting this weight off again
Went for my first fill the other day and was a bit disappointed that I had gained two KG since seeing the doctor 5 months ago
She was actually really proud of me though for not gaining alot more
Little did she know that on my scale in Malta I was actually 84kg at one time and here I went up to 91kg! I'm just hoping my scales were wrong because I actually don't feel like I've gained that much weight. My clothes feel fine and noone seems to have noticed any gain :S

Either way I am here to start fresh
I have had plenty of fills and have never been bruised but this time round the area around the injection is purple! It doesn't hurt but it's a bit scary looking
I still don't have restriction so I shall be going in again in two weeks for another fill

By my birthday on January 31st I would love to be around 75kg
That's about 15kg in 18 weeks. Seems possible but I'm not going to be disappointed if I'm a few kg's away from my goal
I just want to lose this weight!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

I'm home!!

Surprised my parents this morning :)
Killer flight though. Due to hours of delays I ended up travelling for over 30 hours
I already have an appointment for a fill on thursday
Yay! Can't wait to start losing again =D

Wednesday, September 21, 2011


The band + Spain = fail!

Hello all
Just returned from a two week adventure in Spain, Morocco and Portugal
Had the most amazing time and ate some delicious food
and man I completely forgot i even had a band :(
I have no restriction due to my emergency unfill and I ate lots of Paella, bread, tagine and drank way too many sangria's and mojito's
I don't seem to have gained but I haven't lost anything
I don't regret it one bit though
I am heading home in a few weeks so I'll be heading straight to the doctors office for a much needed fill
Excited about continuing this journey :)

Monday, August 29, 2011

I absolutely love it here in malta. I'm so proud to say that this is where I'm from. look how beautiful it is!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Gaining =(

aahhhh since i had the unfill i have absolutely no restriction and have gained about 3kg
we've been going out to eat every night and i have not been exerting any will power. goes to show how much i actually rely on the band!
i know i will lose those 3kgs before i get home because i am doing another 2 week tour and will be walking non stop but it's scary to think how quickly bad habits return.
so excited to get home and continue my journey and hopefully lose another 20-30kg in the next year

Monday, August 15, 2011

One year on...what a difference!

Saturday, August 13, 2011

one year bandiversary!

yayy! wish I had lost a full 100lbs but 95 is close enough :P
you will have to wait until i get home to write a lengthy post about it though!

Monday, August 8, 2011

nearly my one year bandiversary!

yayy :)

43kg/95lbs down!

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Goals and home

i am dying to get home to start a fresh chapter in my life
my goal weight for my birthday is 70kg. i'm currently at 83kg and my birthday is on january 31st so it's possible and exciting!
i'm so excited!
my sister's 21st birthday is in june next year and i would love to be at goal
when i get home i'm hoping to join the gym and start working out
although i've lost about 5kg since being away i still feel sluggish with all the booze i've been drinking so a detox is a must!

Friday, August 5, 2011

Emergency unfill in Malta!

wow what an experience!
the last week or so i havent been able to eat much at all. constantly feeling sick and stuck so i booked in at a hospital that performs lap band surgery. the silly nurses booked me in with the wrong doctor!
i had traveled from the other island so i had to have it done by a doctor who had never done lap band adjustments. after a few jabs he finally found the port and took out 2cc.
i hope it does the trick because ive been in agony this past week and have been scared to eat!
fingers crossed!

Friday, July 22, 2011

Update on my Eurotrip

Hi all
I actually can't wait to get back home and focus on my weightloss
I definitely need a fill but right now I'm not worried too much about weightloss
Since being back from the tour I've been maintaining my weight and it fluctuates up or down a kilogram
I have decided that I will be going back to Australia in October
At the end of August my sister is going home so I will be by myself
On September 6 I'm doing another tour and going to Spain, Morocco and Portugal!
These next three months are going to be amazing :D

Monday, July 11, 2011


Friday, July 8, 2011

Just got back from Paris and Disneyland!
Had the best time :)

Monday, June 27, 2011

More Europe photos

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Lost weight!!

Happy to report that despite all the crap i've eaten in Europe I've still managed to lose 4kg!

down to 84.8kg this evening

Total lost = 41.8kg!!!

so happy!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

europe pictures!

Monday, May 30, 2011

i'm still here!

Hi all
just updating you from by the pool in lovely Rome, italy
I am half way through my 28 day tour of europe and am loving every second of it
so far i've been to paris, nice, avignon, barcelona, florence, swiss alps and rome

the highlight of my trip so far has to be my amazing sky dive from a helicopter over the swiss alps! i had never done anything like it and it was the most liberating thing i have ever done. the weight limit was 90kg and i am well under that! if i hadnt lost the weight i would have never been able to do such an awesome thing!

unfortunately i am enjoying european food way too much
i know my band is way too loose and i havent really been following the rules
i have been walking so much and there are so many stair climbs here so hopefully i will at least maintain my weight. when i get back to malta in 3 weeks i will once again start focusing on my weight loss but right now i am just trying to enjoy it to the full!

Saturday, May 7, 2011

I'm in Europe!

Hi everyone
Just to let you know I've made it to Malta safe and sound!
Dubai was amazing, such a lovely place.
Malta is gorgeous. The weather is great and the place where we live is amazing...just a minute walk to the beach :)
I'm doing well with my food. I had a little bit of restriction in Dubai...probably because of the plane. We walked lots in Dubai and tried to eat really well.
We have a scale in our flat but I don't think it's correct so i think I might invest in a good one.
Here are some pictures :)
hope everyone is well!

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Leaving next week! + Update

Arrgghhh we are leaving for Europe exactly one week from today!
Cannot believe how quickly time has flown
Mum isn't handling it very well...I guess it must be hard on her to let her girls go, but we have to leave the nest some time right?

There is quite a bit of band news:
I got a 1cc unfill last week and things have changed so much
My weight is definitely coming off alot slower now
Lost 0.4kg (0.88lbs) this week. I would be happy with at least 1kg, but I'll take any loss right now.
I am able to eat most things again.
Meat goes down fine, toasted bread doesn't give me any problems...and unfortunately I am able to eat Hot Cross Buns. Thank goodness they will be out of the shops after Easter :P
I know that I definitely need a fill
I am hungry and I try not to snack, but I have to remember that when I'm overseas I'll be moving more and not sitting around the house all day (like I have been doing lately :P)
If worse comes to worse, I can always get a fill when I'm away.

I may not update as often once I'm away, but I'll try to keep in touch as much as possible

If you are interested in what I'm up to, check out my website:

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Photo I actually like

These last few days I've been up in Warrnambool (a seaside town in Victoria, Australia)
The weather was pretty decent so we went for a hike through Tower Hill, an extinct volcano
I was feeling brave so we decided to walk the steep track
Far out it was tough! So many steps and such steep hills
It was worth it though, the view was amazing

Dad decided to take this photo of me walking
Normally I would cringe so bad at a full body shot and would probably delete it straight away, but I actually liked this one of me
It definitely shows that I've lost alot of weight. Makes me so proud to see it and smile :)

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Life is great!

Yesterday I got another 1cc taken out of my band
My doctor was so proud of me because even though I admitted to eating junk, I still lost a decent amount of weight!
She was only going to take out 0.5cc but I'm so desperate to eat normal meals I decided to take the full 1cc out. I was experiencing alot of heart burn while I was waiting at her office, and the second she took the fluid out, I felt instant relief.

Today, my eating has been excellent!

This is what I've eaten so far (it's 2pm right now):
Breakfast- 2 weetbix & 150ml light milk (couldn't get the full bowl down within half an hour but I had about 3/4 of it)= 175 cals
Lunch- 1 egg omelette with 1 small tomato and a handful of shredded cheese (amazing! even the tomato went down with no problems)= 174 cals
PM snack- 1 cup cream of chicken soup = 88 cals

I've also been able to drink about 700mls of water so far. I have a new appreciation for the stuff now! The last few weeks I've probably only had 1 or 2 glasses of water in a day and I was feeling horrible.

So glad I got the unfill. I was afraid of gaining weight, but I'm determined to lose more weight so I'm going to work my ass off!

Also, I have 2 weeks until I leave for Europe! As if that's not motivating :P

Thursday, April 14, 2011

38 kg!

Finally. I've been hovering around 89kg for a few weeks now
Current weight is 88.6kg
Life with the band isn't that great right now
I've all of a sudden gone too tight again
I called up the docs office and I had enough, I basically had to beg them to see me for an unfill. They finally booked me in to see the doc tomorrow. Wooooo
I went to my local doctor last week with some pain on the right side of my abdomen. I seriously though I might have appendicitis but thank goodness it's not that serious. The doc said it was because I wasn't drinking enough water. Honestly, I can't even get down half a litre of water these days. Hopefully this unfill will sort it all out and I can start losing more weight.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Night reflux

Well ladies I don't know if stress/nerves/excitement affects the band but something is not right
For the last few nights, trying to sleep has been very uncomfortable
I've been having acid reflux and it's not fun!
My eating really hasn't changed much...I can still eat, so hopefully it's not a sign of a slipped band
But the next available appointment with my Dr is in 3 weeks and I can't wait that long! My doctors clinic frustrates me sometimes. I'll call them again on Monday and basically beg that I need an unfill

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Sometimes I wish that I hadn't looked in the mirror so often or taken so many photos during this weight loss process.
I'm sitting here watching the Biggest Loser Makeovers and am in awe of how amazing these people look.
The best part was that these people hadn't had the chance to see their bodies changing since being at camp Biggest Loser.
Lately my self esteem hasn't been too great. I'm starting to feel fat again and just don't feel very motivated.
If I don't look at my before pictures as often as I do, I probably wouldn't feel much different from when I was at my heaviest.


Tuesday, April 5, 2011


Bachelor of Psychology (Honours)

Monday, April 4, 2011

Another Unfill

Sorry about the constant posts!
I haven't had a day off in a while and all I've done is surf the net!

I've decided that I am going to get more fluid taken out of my band before I go overseas
I've been thinking about it and I am just fed up with not being able to eat the foods that my family eat
When deciding on the surgery, I was under the impression that I would be able to eat just about everything as normal, except in smaller portions
These days I can't eat meat, chicken, some vegies, salads...all the healthy stuff!
I don't mind that I can't eat this stuff because I'm experimenting with other foods, but when I'm in Europe it is going to be alot harder to find foods that are band friendly
I'm going on a tour and I don't want to feel left out if I can't enjoy dinner with the whole group

I'm scheduled to go in on April 28th...I leave May 1st
I don't necessarily want to empty the band completely, but maybe another 1cc

I graduate tomorrow!

How exciting!
The last time I saw my University friends was in October and I weighed around 105kg
I currently weigh around 89kg and am so damn proud of myself!
I'll be sure to post pictures of the day some time this week :)
Wish me luck!
I really hope I don't trip :P

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Day 2 of liquids!

Woah I stepped on the scale to a new low: 88.9kg! Feels amazing
Hope the scale wasn't pranking me, April Fool's has past so I will smash it to pieces if it shows a gain tomorrow :P

Yesterday I had liquids up until dinner time
I was hoping to do it all day but we had visitors and didn't want to feel left out
For dinner I had some "vegetarian" meat. Yes, you heard correctly! This band will not allow me to indulge in some meat or chicken anymore so I have to settle for the fake stuff. It's not as great as real meat but it's close enough. The texture of it is easier to break down than meat so it goes down fine.
I also had a tiny tiny tiny slice of cake.

But something really strange is going on. After I ate some food I started getting that sick feeling I mentioned last week. Lately I've had stomach aches all day everyday. I really don't know what it could be, and I don't really want to go to the doctors because I'm scared they'll tell me not to go overseas!
It's not painful, it's just an uncomfortable sickness


Saturday, April 2, 2011

Liquids = Fullness?

So today I've decided to do just consume liquids because I've been feeling so sick in the stomach lately I couldn't stand it anymore

It's 1:19pm today and this is what I've had:
- half a cup of coffee
- 1 glass V8 juice
- 1 cup of soup

And I feel completely satisfied
I don't understand it! When I eat solids I'm barely ever full and I'm constantly grazing

I like this feeling
Maybe my restriction will come back after a few days of this

Friday, April 1, 2011

April Goals

Seeing as though I only have 4 weeks left until Europe, I really need to step it up a notch and work a bit harder

This month I only lost 2.2kgs (4.84lbs)

I know it's a healthy loss, an average of half a kilo a week, but it's still not great

On Monday I think I might start optifast again just to detox
I have been eating alot of crap lately and I just can't help myself

My ultimate goal was to be 85kg by the time I leave for Europe
So I would have to lose another 5kg this month

Seems possible if I actually work hard, eat less, move more, drink water

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Port Pain?

I just got home from work (where I had to stand up at a register for 4 hours)
Everytime I coughed/sneezed my port area would feel really tight and then I would move around a bit and it would relax
It doesn't hurt, it's just a bit uncomfortable at the time
Has anyone else experienced this?

Note to self

Never get too excited about a loss + don't update your ticker until weigh in day

Gahh I was so excited that one day this week the scale showed 89.7kg
It didn't, however, show me that this morning for my official weigh in

My weight is coming off so so so slowly these days

Last weeks weight: 90.3kg
This weeks weight: 89.9kg

Loss of 0.4kg (0.88lbs)

I know it's my fault
I'm eating crap, not exercising and I drank way too much this weekend
But it's so frustrating!

Monday, March 28, 2011

A newly discovered before photo

I was sifting through the family computer and came across this hideous photo
I look like a moron because I had just come off the slide
Cannot believe I used to look like this
Definitely gives me some much needed motivation to kick ass!

May be too soon to celebrate but...

goodbye 90's!!

Snuck in a weigh in this morning and it read 89.9kg (197.78lbs) each of the three times I tried :P
I have not been in the 80's for about 5 years and it feels amazing
That makes my total loss so far: 36.7kg (80.7lbs)
I love saying "I've lost 80lbs" Even if no one here can calculate how much it is!

So much awesome things happened last week
The best thing in the world happened on Thursday. I walked into a shop[ called Glassons. It's a very girly, on trend shop. But it's one of the very few that stock up to a size 16. The girl in there was super nice (have you noticed that when you lose a bit of weight shop assistances are actually willing to help you out?). Anyways I had my eye on two gorgeous dresses. I have become so much more comfortable in my body now that I go straight to the dresses rather than sticking to loose fitting tops and jeans! The one dress I really loved was only available in a size 14 but I tried it on anyways...and it fit! I was basically dancing in the change rooms :P I bought two of the dresses and wore them out on Friday and Saturday.

This weekend has been amazing!
My sister and I had organised our going away events a bit early, but we're glad we did
On Friday we held our going away dinner with friends. We went to Taco Bill and had way too many margaritas. One thing that frustrates me about the band is that when I go out I have to decide whether I want to eat or whether I want to drink. On Friday I decided to drink and I had a little bit of guacamole to nibble on just in case people asked why I wasn't eating. Afterwards we went to a local club and I drank some more =S lol

On Saturday we went out with all our cousins. My sister and I are the youngest cousins out of the 30 something first cousins we have so we were always the spoilt ones :P We went to Williamstown (if you are ever in Melbourne you must go there!). The dinner menu was awesome, cheap yet the meals were not that band friendly. They had some nice pasta options but they refused to sell me the entree size. When the waitress came around to see whether anyones finished she seriously gave me a nasty look and asked why I had barely eaten any of my meal! She was such a bitch! I don't have to explain to anyone. I told her that because they hadn't allowed me to get entree size that they would simply have to throw it all out and it was such a waste. It wasn't my fault!! After dinner we went to Karaoke, which was hilarious! My sister and I had put our names down to sing two songs...but they ended up already being taken so we just gave up and left.

Here are a few pictures:
These are the two dresses I bought (sorry about the crap quality!)

This is my sister, my best friend and I:

Thursday, March 24, 2011

This week's weigh in

Last week: 90.8kg (199.76lbs)

This week: 90.3kg (198.66lbs)

Total loss: 0.5kg (1.1lbs)

Decent loss considering I didn't exercise, didn't drink enough water and didn't eat right at all

I don't know why I keep sabotaging myself
I have a goal, I have a deadline but I still don't work for it

I have been really sick all week and it is TOM
So let's hope that this week my eating will return to normal and I can get back on track

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I don't have an ass...

Well sort of :P
Found these pictures from early post op and was shocked to see how far my ass stuck out!
Love seeing comparisons...especially at times like these where I'm barely losing

Monday, March 21, 2011

Stomach ache =(

Oh man I have had the worst stomach ache for the last two days
I have know idea where it's coming from but I hope it hasn't got anything to do with the band
Yesterday I slept fine and thought it was gone
Then the minute I started eating breakfast I've just been feeling sick all day
It's hard to explain but it feels like cramps but all over my stomach, not just in one spot
Has anyone felt this before?
I don't think going to the doctor would be much help because I just can't define what I'm feeling
Food is still able to go down though, so I don't think it would be a slipped band

Saturday, March 19, 2011

NSV but not doing well

First of all...I just cannot stop eating
Seriously if I'm not working then I am sitting at home eating crap
I don't want to get a fill because I know I won't be able to eat in Europe
But I just have no will power right now
When I'm overseas I'm sure I'll be so tight on money that I won't be able to afford junk
But I don't want to gain weight before I even get to Europe
Blahhh it feels just like bandster hell again

Anyways to my NSV...
I have had this dress hung up on my wall since I got banded
It's size 12 and I only wore it once when I was 18, the last time I'd lost some weight
I'm pretty sure when I last wore it I was somewhere between 70-80kg
I'm currently around 90kg and it zipped all the way up!
It's fairly stretchy around the bust and really flowy, so I'm kind of ignoring the size (I'm not even a size 14 yet!)
It is perfect for when I go away. Such a summery dress
Woooo go me :P

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Disappointing week :(

Didn't lose anything at all this week...not even 100 grams!
I'm a bit concerned now about my travels and whether I can still lose overseas
I still have restriction but I wish I had more
I won't be getting anymore fills before I leave because I don't want to risk being too tight
But I'm really going to have to work hard now at watching what I eat and working out
I know that when I'm away I will have chances to indulge, but I'll also be walking heaps and swimming and basically moving alot more than I do here
Hopefully this is just a plateau

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Old photos make me sad

I came across these photos and was overcome by sadness
These were taken in March 2010, 1 year ago

I don't recognise that girl
I cannot fathom the thought of being her
I feel sorry for her
I can tell she was hurting

I am forever grateful for my band and am so happy with my progress. Even if I plateau or my weight loss slows down, I will always be happy with how far I've come

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Half way to goal and under 200lbs!

Woah that was quick
This morning I weighed in at 90.8kg (199.76lbs!!!!)
I lost 1.1kg this week which I think is great because I really didn't try hard. The only thing I did differently was work everyday

And this morning I am EXACTLY half way to goal
My ticker says: 35.8kg lost, 35.8kg to go!
How awesome is that
Hopefully I'll be at my goal by my 23rd birthday next January

Today I am going to my fill doctor
I don't really need to go but she wanted to make sure that my fill level was good
I'm pretty happy with where I'm at
I can eat most foods but I can't eat too much
I'm sure that I'll be fine at this level when I go away

Today is just so exciting!
Only 5.8kg to go before I get to my 85kg before Europe goal

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Don't hate me...

For bragging!

But I just took a picture of a little tunic I bought today and damn I look thin!

Feeling so good right about now! Can't wait to wear this baby out


Today we went to some outlet shops and it was awesome!
For once I actually enjoyed shopping because I'm starting to fit into "normal" sized clothes
I desperately needed some new jeans because the ones I were wearing were getting way too big and looked horrible
I was actually starting to feel a bit down because I just didn't look good in them anymore
Anyways I found some awesome (yet cheap!) jeans that I really loved. They were in a size 16 and I was getting a bit worried that they wouldn't fit and they wouldn't have any bigger
After scouring the whole store to find a bigger pair I was lucky enough to stumble upon a size 18 pair!
Went to the fitting room and just decided to try on the size 16s just in case I might have been lucky enough to fit into them
To my surprise they fit perfectly! Even just a little too big!!
Best feeling in the world!!

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Review of my goals

On December 23 2010 I set the following three goals for myself:

1. My 22nd birthday (31st Jan 2011)39days until my birthday...about 5.5weeks. Hoping to get down to about 95kg by then. Seems possible, only 3.6kg to go :)

2. Soundwave music festival(4th March 2011)...every year my sister and I go to this all day music fest called Soundwave. Last year we went to the Melbourne Show and Sydney Show and by the end of it I was exhausted. Next year I don't want to have to take time outs because my legs were too tired. It's in 71 days...about 10 weeks. My goal is go get to around 90kg by then. 8.6kg to go.

3. Europe! (1st May 2011)...oh my lord it will be amazing. Especially because I won't be lugging around so much weight! In 129 days I will be sitting comfortably in my seat ready to take off. The heat will not bother me that much because I will be thinner and I will be able to keep up with everyone on the tour. In 129 days...about 18 weeks I'm hoping to be around the 85kg mark. 13.6kg to go :)

On my 22nd birthday I weight 95.6kg...I was 0.6kg off my goal so I think I just about accomplished it

Yesterday was the Soundwave festival. My goal was to be around 90kg by then. Today I weighed in at 91.6kg. I was 1.6kg off my goal. However, compared to last year, I was able to stand up and walk around for 11 hours straight and only sat down once. Big, Big difference from last year where I felt like I was about to collapse after the first few hours.

My next goal is to be around 85kg by Europe
We have exactly 8 weeks to go! I can't believe how quickly time is flying
To accomplish my goal, I need to lose another 6.6kg
I don't know whether I will accomplish that, but I am almost certain that I can at least lost 5 more kgs before I fly out

Such exciting times!

35 kg down

Feels good!

That's 77lbs


I'm feeling great, starting to like my body
I don't cringe as much when I'm undressing

Yesterday I went to an all day music festival
For the first time ever I was planning to wear shorts
But the weather wasn't great so I wore a pair of old jeans...but they were so baggy and annoying
It's a great feeling when clothes get too big
but it's also frustrating because my clothes look just as bad when they're too big!

I'm just glad that I'm still losing
I feel good at the fill level I'm at and I don't think I'll get an adjustment before I go to Europe

Life is great right now!

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Comparison photos: 7 months

Thursday, February 24, 2011


That's how I've been feeling today
I feel boated and fat and ugly
I lost 0.6kg this week
Not good
My stomach feels like it has expanded so much
I feel disgusting and I just need to let it all out, instead of dwelling on it and stuffing my face with junk

I've been worrying too much about the trip
I don't want to look this way in Europe
I don't want to look like a beached whale
I want to feel confident and I want to be able to keep up with everyone on the tour

I have around 10 weeks until I reach Malta
If I stayed focused and worked hard, I COULD lose 10kgs
That would be amazing
I would be 82kg

I'm finding it so hard to stay on track
I was unhappy when I was too tight, and now I'm unhappy because I'm too loose
I know it's all in my head
but I'm just struggling so much

I have been doing everything wrong
and it's about time I own up:

- I've been eating junk. mainly biscuits and chocolate
- I've been eating too quickly
- I've been snacking
- I haven't been drinking enough water
- I haven't been exercising

There...all my imperfections

Now my goals for this week:
- I will count every single calorie that I consume
- I will drink at least 2 litres of water a day
- I will not eat junk foods
- I will do at least 3 biggest loser routines this week

I would be so happy to reach at least 85kgs by the time we leave
8kg to go

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

May need a tiny fill

So you remember how I got a tiny unfill last week
well it has been such a good feeling being able to eat
but now I think the doc took out too much
I think maybe a fill of 0.1cc will do the trick
she wanted to see me in two weeks to check up on me so i'll be going in on march 10

I must admit....
today I just about ate a whole packet of arnotts chocolate ripple biscuits
stupid stupid me
but i barely ate anything else
so i haven't exceeded my calories
It's TOM so that's my excuse!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Just to clarify

I'm not one to start petty fights on the internet
but something is really bugging me about a certain blog post and I feel the need to respond
I won't mention the post or the blogger
but I just need to clear up a few things

I think I've been pretty successful at my weight loss so far
but it definitely has NOT been easy

So here are a few things I thought I should clarify:

- okay so I am 22 years old and I do still live with my family BUT I cook my own food, I do chores and I don't have the luxury of spending all day working out
- Just because I don't have kids, doesn't mean I don't have responsibilities
- I was going to university full time and am working two jobs...hence I cannot spend every hour of the day focusing on my weight loss. Some days I can work 10 hour days because I'm stupid enough to work double shifts
- Okay so I'm 22, but I have never been a "healthy" weight. I was born obese and have always been morbidly obese. I don't know what it's like to be skinny.
- Like most of you ladies, I have definitely stuffed up my metabolism with yo-yo dieting. At age 10 I was seeing a dietitian and being forced to go to weight watchers and have tried just about every diet under the sun...AND I'M ONLY 22

last but not least,
I'm not sure when/why most of you gained weight. some may have been like me and have always been obese.but some "lucky" people may have had a great childhood being thin and healthy and may have only put on some weight in later life
I, however, have been having to deal with bullying and constant pressure to lose weight my whole childhood
It was hell for me
I was battling depression in my early teens
and have attempted suicide several times after it had gotten so bad at school that I just wanted to give up

So before you say that it's EASY for me to lose weight
Think about my circumstances first before you judge

Friday, February 18, 2011

Barimate iPhone App

does anyone have it?
saw the flyer at my doctors office today and am very curious
I'm obsessed with iPhone apps by the way, but this one looks really good
I may download it, although it's $9.99 so maybe not

Here's the link
what do you guys think?


Need advice ASAP!

Woke up still feeling like crap
I've had migraines for days, have been feeling lethargic and just feel like I want to pass out everytime I stand up
Everyone has been telling me that it's most likely because I'm not eating enough
and I think they are right

This week I lost 1.1kg
but I've been so tired that I haven't exercised nearly as much as I usually do
so that 1.1kg loss comes down to a very low calorie diet

When I was losing only small amounts of weight, I was eating crap food with no nutrition but I was getting enough calories
After I saw my fill doctor, I've been talking to a dietitian and trying to eat nutritious, healthy foods
but I simply can't eat enough of these foods to reach my daily calories
get me?

So my dad suggested I go get a bit of an unfill
and I totally agree
What's the point of only being able to eat crap?
I'd rather be able to eat more nutritious foods and exercise more and have energy

What do you guys suggest?
I have an appointment in a few hours and I hope I'm making the right decision.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Feeling crappy

The first time in AGES where I've had to leave work early
I feel sluggish, have migraines, a fever and basically feel like I want to pass out
I work at a medical centre so obviously I was bound to catch something
But I don't think I'm sick because of a virus
I think I'm sick because I'm not eating enough calories
I just can't
I know I need a bit of an unfill but I'm waiting until April to get some taken out before I go overseas
It also doesn't help that I've been working every single day and haven't had a day off in weeks...oh the joys of juggling two jobs

*end rant*

Monday, February 14, 2011

Week One of Body Media Fit Armband

So here is my review of the bodymediafit armband after one week of wearing it:

Since I started wearing it last Monday, I've lost 1.2kg (2.6lbs)
That's the most I've lost in a while
I wore it everyday, even when I was sleeping and it has really opened my eyes to how many calories I burn on a daily basis
Although it hasn't lost the weight for me, it made me more aware of my activity patterns and eating patterns
I've found myself moving more, even when I'm watching TV I'm either walking on the spot or moving around just to burn more calories
It's also helped me keep track of how many calories I eat and when I eat the most calories

Overall, I'm so glad I got it
I get excited when I see how many calories I've burnt and it seems pretty accurate
If I can lost another kilogram next week then I can definitely say it's a must have gadget!